Learning Piano

Yes, I'm learning piano again. To me it's such a big thing that I need to announce it in a blog. On one hand that's to emphasize its importance to me, on the other hand to remind me to keep going, after given it up for more than 5 years. Yes, for more than 5 years my piano is just another piece of furniture or decoration in the sitting room. Today, my fingers are inflexible, my forearm muscle hurts, the notes that I play are uneven. Feels like handicapped, but I'm satisfied. I'm looking forward to the day when I can play well again. And music is just essential in my life.

Meeting another relative in the restuarant and encounter this "what are you doing now" type of question again. Makes me reflect on what I'm going to do next year. I'm just a bit torn that the things that I should be doing, or what people are expecting me to do, are not exactly leading to what I aspire to work for next year. (though what I aspire to work for changes like 3 times within 3 months probably) It's something that I'm interested, but not exactly something that I'm good at, or something that I should be working towards to... Anyway, I'm making things complicated, because I'm not determined enough. Should I just accept that I'm essentially a team worker and needs strong team environment and pressure? that I'm really not good as an independent worker? That answer would probably help me to sort out my confusions.